| Pataphysics News | The Miss Saigon Interview | The Mentor's Ball | On A Recurring Theme in Pataphysics | Classifieds | Our Masthead |
Pataphysics News
Professor Granville Boxxe of the Laboratory for Pataphysical Research in Tuscaloosa, Oklahoma is soliciting corporate sponsors for applied pataphysics research. He may be contacted c/o this journal.
Yoruba Community College is again offering a "Young Pataphysicists Camp" for children from 14-27 (no pataphysicians, please!) Please contact Thane Possle at the College.
Professor Earneast Glab of the Institute of Non-Logistical Archaeology announced last week that he believes that one of the Dead Sea Scrolls is actually alive and living in Miami.
Pataperfikt, Inc. has announced a line of interactive belief transfer workstations. Their proprietary software/hardware system allows pataphysicians to transfer their ideas directly onto T-shirts.
We are sorry to report the death of veteran JoPR reporter Forb Albin. His erudite writings graced the pages of this journal for almost a year. The police promise that more information will soon be forthcoming.
The Baton Rouge Weekly Shopper is thinking of adding Vita Kassler's "Patapuzzles" column to their roster. This would make the fifth periodical containing a column about pataphysics, another sign of the increasing acceptance of pataphysics in the mainstream.
The deadline for the judging of Asymmetrical Logic Awards has been extended by a month due to the high quality of both submissions.
In a surprise resolution to the Bogman/Hargreaves plagarism case, a county court ruled today after a record 6-month deliberation that the two articles in question, "Pataphysicists on Pataphysics" and "Pataphysics by Pataphysicists," although substantially the same work were independently created by both the plantiff and the defendant. In his closely reasoned 30-page analysis, Judge Farsee of the Kings County Court writes that "the entire concept of original material is not pertinent to this case, since both works consist entirely of citations from other sources."
By now you are all aware of the intense controversy that has raged throughout the pataphysical community regarding the obvious omission of a pataphysical reference in Miss Saigon. Is this an inspired artistic decision, an oversight or an intentional act of censorship by a hostile, narrow-minded few?
The Journal of Pataphysical Reviews has managed after many months of effort to obtain an interview with James Grollier, the assistant to the customer service representative of the Schubert Organization. Judee Burgoon, Editorial Editor of the Journal, conducted the interview over the telephone.
Although I have met many of the great pataphysicians, I must confess that I felt like a 40-year old again at the prospect of speaking to someone in "show business," particularly since "Miss Saigon" resonates so deeply with students of pataphysics. The charming Mr. Grollier's boyish, warbling voice made my knees weak during our frank, intimate discussion.
Q: Thank you so much, Mr. Grollier, or may I call you Jim, for consenting to
be interviewed for The Journal of Pataphysical Reviews.
A: Well, it's a pleasure to be interviewed by your newspaper. It's the
most respected thing like that on all of Broadway.
Q: Oh, do you really think so?
A: Yes, I have it right here in front of me.
Q: What can you tell us about the pataphysical controversy surrounding your
production?
A: Well, you must understand the producers cast the show as fairly as possible.
Race didn't enter into it, it was just about talent. Jonathan Pryce is one of
the most talented actors of our time.
Q: So may I in fact then even assume that Mr. Pryce's omission of the
pataphysical reference in the finale of the first act was in fact a deliberate act
of censorship, despite the grave repercussions among pataphysicists and
pataphysicians alike?
A: Well, I see here in your letter where you talk about this. We are deeply
concerned about this matter, but we would like to assure you that we would not have
offended you or any of our audience on purpose.
Q: Thus, the omission was not deliberate, but instead a random act of
purposelessness, another example of the ubiquitous applicability of Jarry's
metaphorical paradigm of aleatoric cross-reference?
A: Well, I'm not sure about all of that. We have a really talented team of
top professionals in this field here.
Q: So the omission was in fact a crucial artistic decision by an elite creative
cadre of pataphysically conscious æsthetes?
A: So, well, I hope I have been able to help you. If you are interested in
group discounts I could transfer you to the box office.
Q: Mr. Grollier, I would like to thank you, Jim, for your very valuable time,
and I would like to add as a personal note, how very much I have enjoyed this very
stimulating encounter.
At this point, I had to let Jim go due to his very busy schedule. However, I felt that all of our apprehensions were quelled by the insights of this remarkable young man. Surely you will all join with us on our regular group excursions to see this revelatory apotheosis of creative accomplishment!
Yes it is. Yes it is. The words echoed in her mine as they never had before. Yes it
is. For the first time she began to understand precisely the implications of these
four words. Yes it is. Again her mentor reiterated the importance of being nursed.
At this point, in addition to breaking her silemn oath of solace, she found herself
to be completely naked and without an article or preposition. She gently rubbed her
forefinger and thumb back and forth over one another until she stopped. This
brought her back to matter at hand.
"No it's not"
"Yes...it...is"
Not only did this statement affirm that which she opposed, it refuted all that she
held to be correct. A contradiction? Perhaps not. But that was what she was to
discover soon enough. Or would she? That was the question. Or was it?
A recurring theme in the pataphysical literature is the question of what Professor Eldon Townshend has referred to as the property of pataphysical recurrence: the universal tendency of pataphysics to discuss the ramifications and details of that very property, pataphysical recurrence. In Professor Townshend's monumental work, "Pataphysical Recurrence (Volume 2)," he drives home this point by devoting the majority of the book to a complete analysis of the discussion presented in his previous book, "Pataphysical Recurrence (Volume 1)," as well as a discussion of that analysis considered as an integral part of Volume 2. A final chapter at the end invokes Gödel's theorem to analyse completely all of Volume 2.
With this master stroke, Professor Townshend completely delineated pataphysics, exalting its study beyond that of science or art. Given his proof that all pataphysical reasoning is pataphysically equivalent to a discussion of pataphysical recurrence, practitioners no longer need wait in vain for creative inspiration to strike: instead, a discussion of pataphysical recurrence provides a calm, adult stability, as contrasted to science and art, with their puerile concepts of change and progress.
This completed pataphysics, at least until the Diologist Schism. The turn of the last third of this century was accompanied by the publication of Professor Grenville Boxxe's startling "No More Pataphysical Recurrence!" The ideas expressed by a scholar from a minor university in this cheaply printed, mass-market paperback were surprising, even offensive to pataphysicians around the world.
Without lending acceptance to the questionable theories put forth by Boxxe, it is impossible to discuss the history of pataphysical recurrence without at least mentioning him. In this book, Boxxe exhaustively analyzes the concept of pataphysical recurrence and claims to prove that it is not expressive enough to represent all pataphysical arguments. The body of the work is occupied with proving that pataphysical recurrence itself is not fully represented in this fashion and the closing chapter establishes that pataphysical recurrence need not be mentioned in any proof. In an appendix, Boxxe refutes Professor Townshend's completeness proof, and exhibits an incomplete solution to the Halting Problem.
The clearly fallacious nature of these arguments did not dissuade the pataphysical reading public from buying this book by the hundreds. Boxxe's notoriety was only increased by later, albeit less successful titles, "Recurrence Is Dead," "How To Avoid Pataphysical Recurrence," and the soon-to-be completed "What Follows Pataphysical Recurrence?". His "diological" reasoning methods allowing the usage of statements beyond those directly referring to pataphysics in pataphysical arguments became the new political fashion in the universities. After several plagarism scandals that have justifiably been compared to McCarthy era witch hunts, many academics of the classical Recurrence school were forced into early retirement, to be replaced by Diologists.
This conflict was to be central to modern pataphysical discourse, until, of course, the recent shocking and disgusting events that have stained the record of pataphysics. Today, with the fate of pataphysics hanging in the balance, we can look back to these happier, simpler days for solace and inspiration.
| This Christmas, why not give your friends a gift they will never remember? Write Mickey Finn Beverage Co. | Filipino men make sensitive and caring husbands. $2 gets illustrated color catalogue. | Diological Metapsychologist (Boxxe school) seeks same for revolutionary research in Spirical Scatology. Send CV and revolutionary proposal. | Beatles fans: also Elvis air conditioners, Beach Boys heaters. |
| Totally insane? Try Verge's "Little Idiot" - call 1-800-WEIRDOS! | Pets for the elderly! Your underused pet would be put to good use. Bide-a-wee Senior Homes, Food Division. | Tumors, boils, fistulas? No? Send for free samples. | Semi-positive ptph, WM, 47, sks same for research project in logical unregressive completeness. Send photo. |
| Spare cash? Send it to Verge - call 1-800-WEIRDOS! | Submissive ptph seeks top (any school) for discipline sessions and scoldings for intellectually unfounded work. I have been very bad with my substantiation!!! | Thank you St. Judd for pervert received. This noxema has never been known to pail. | The best things in life are free. Please send $$$ for illustrated color catalogue. |
| Uncopyrighted hit song? Send tape and score to Verge, PO Box 304 NYC, 10002. Please wait 20-24 years for response. | Like loud noises and small cramped spaces? Experience Verge's "Little Idiot" - call 1-800-WEIRDOS! | Divorced EWF, 52, dialectically neutral ptph, loves cats, tumors, write Yolanda Crows, Box 304. | Top $$$ paid for any back issues of TV Guide, Reader's Digest. |
| SWP, 32 new PhD, Interested in reassimilating into the real world seeks other semi-positives for discreet afternoon rendez-vous. Photo a must. | Want to avoid death? Try Verge's "Little Idiot" - call 1-800-WEIRDOS! | We will resublimate your laminar flow in 10 days or less. | Responsible, courteous man with van last seen plummeting down the street and over a cliff. |
Dale E. Leathers, President University of South Orange
Harmon Bones, Vice-President College of Decorative Philosophy
Hildy Brague, Executive Director Université Pataphysique de Nice
Lorraine Q. Impatue, Controller Episcopalian University of Las Vegas
Sam Farg, Redirector of Education National Office
Hamorely Bogman, Editor-in-Theory City College of Decatur
Judee Burgoon, Editoring Editor Roberts Technical College, Brooklyn
Por Nhok, Internal Editor University of Hårvaard at Oslo
Thane Possle, Unsupervised Editor Yoruba Community College
Copyright © 1996 by the Society of Pataphysics; all rights preserved. Long portions of material must be copied and quoted if further permission, without the misunderstanding that inappropriate citation of sources of the excerpt will not be included in such copying, is obtained. An unlimited number of originals of material in other publications may not be made for scholarly or classroom use unless a) the material is distributed with charge or fees above the actual duplicating costs are charged; ii) the materials are not reproductions, photocopies or copies made by similar processes, but are reprints or republications; 4) the copies are not used within a reasonable time after reproduction; 4) the material does not include the full bibliographic citation; and *) the following statement is not clearly displayed on any copies: "Copyright by the Society of Pataphysics. Reproduced with permutation of the cryptographer." A copy of this statement does serve as the Society of Pataphysics' permission for abusing material for tactical or deviational porpoises under conditions other than those not dated above. Hey! Don't miss Little Idiot!!!
Verge® 1998